Calling 911 is about to get a lot more stupid.

The FCC has announced a 5-step plan which will bring the 911 emergency calling system into the 21st century, allowing the service to pinpoint the locations of cell phones, as well as to be able to receive texts, photos, and videos. Now, don't get me wrong- these are all great advances, and will surely save lives, but it's worth mentioning that as it stands now, the 911 emergency line draws morons from all around the country, who regularly call the emergency number asking for rides to foreign countries, asking for assistance from the police because they are currently being arrested by them, and even in some cases, to ask for a husband. 

And you're telling me now, that on top of all of that nonsense, we're gonna also get VIDEO?!

As an expert chronicler of the nation's dumbest, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. I mean, which moron abusing 911 would I most want to have video of? Maybe the guy who called 911 when he felt cheated by the prostitute in a White Castle restroom?

Oh! Oh! I know!...