The science is in. If you're reading this at work, you should probably be drunk right now. Of course, by "science" I mean "an ABC News story" and by "drunk" I mean "having a drink or two."
But still, the word is out. More and more offices are letting their employees have a couple drinks at work thanks to the fact that drinking at the office, provided you manage your consumption, can promote creativity. Read that again slowly if you need to. I'm not talking about being fall-off-your-bar-stool-drunk at work. Nobody is creative when they're hammered, and besides, the bar stool at your desk would be a dead giveaway. But a drink or two can help give you a creative edge over your office rivals. Like how Mark McGwire figured out that drinking all that milk would make him hit a ton of home runs back in 1998.
"I extracted the growth hormones and injected them in my ass!"
I know, you're probably nervously sputtering, "But, but, but ... my office doesn't allow drinking on the clock!" Of course it doesn't, and that makes the opportunity even greater! If no one else in the office gets to drink, that means you get to be the Barry Bonds of the joint by harnessing all of alcohol's career-improving benefits for yourself. You're probably doing a disservice to your company by not having a cocktail in your hand right now. You want to finally land that promotion that's been eluding you for years, don't you? Well, with a little pre-planning, you can get the daytime drinking bump even if you work in a dry office.
#5. Choose Your Booze Wisely